It didn’t start with a clear intention to become an artist.
It started in a practical way — with layout, with making things.
But something kept pulling underneath.
A way of looking at art that never really left.
A quiet longing.
It was also a moment in between.
A space where something had ended, but something else had not yet begun.
Without a clear framework, I had to find my own way of holding what was there.
Painting emerged in that space.
I kept searching, mostly on my own, without a clear direction.
Trying things out, exploring techniques, without knowing where it would lead.
For a long time, I hesitated to enter an art academy.
I was afraid of losing myself in someone else’s story,
of moving away from something I couldn’t yet fully name, but knew was mine.
The bridge came unexpectedly.
Through my neighbour — a painter — who encouraged me to take that step.
Once inside, I encountered both guidance and contradiction.
Different voices, different expectations.
At times it created doubt, at times resistance.
But something else became clear.
I felt the need to work bigger.
To move beyond the small, controlled surface.
Large canvases opened something — a way into my emotions, into letting go.
It wasn’t about making something “better”.
It was about allowing something to happen.
Through all the contradictions, I began to realise something essential:
I had never really lost myself.
Even when I thought I did.
Even when I tried to.
That realisation stayed.
And from there, I made a very practical choice —
to continue working from home, on larger canvases, in my own way.
Not as a retreat,
but as a way to stay close to what needed to emerge.
More recently, another movement has appeared.
A desire to connect more directly with others.
To move beyond the studio, into the lives of others.
This brought me back to working smaller.
Partly from a practical consideration —
but also as a new exploration.
In these smaller works, I find a different kind of attention.
A way of refining, of distilling, of staying with what is essential.
It is not a step away from what came before,
but another way of staying close to it.